...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
