Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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