Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
