covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
