You're so nebulous sometimes
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
