I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
