tell your sister to shave her snatch
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
