you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
