i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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