dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
