The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize