she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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