i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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