she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
