Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
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We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
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Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I think i got beer on your cat.
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