Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
