it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
