You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Randomize