What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
