I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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