he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just invented taco cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize