When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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