Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
