just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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