Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
