Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
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