p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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