I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
