I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
