Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
