It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
