White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
We need to get me chipped asap
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