I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
