I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Randomize
