The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
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You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
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I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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