I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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