Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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