omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
These tits shall not be calmed
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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