me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize