the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
