you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
