yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
