i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
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I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
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I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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