talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
