Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
