Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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