i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
