Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
