Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
