so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
