Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
