You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
