she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
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