We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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