Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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