I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
