I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
