apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
